Saturday, September 17, 2016

Jennifer Westfeldt and Jon Hamm

Westfeldt, calls "a goofball and a science nerd and a voracious reader and a fanatical Cardinals fan and a comedy geek."
How did you and Jennifer meet?
We were both involved with other people when we met, so there was no immediate explosion. It was more of a slower get-to-know-each-other situation. About a year later, we started dating.
http://entertainment.inquirer.net/36135/jon-hamm-mad-about-his-girl
..... There's the pretty West Hollywood house with the Spanish gate where Westfeldt lived when the two hooked up. There's the bungalow in Thai Town where Hamm spent one year, telling Westfeldt that he just needed to know what it was like to have his own place. ("She got it.") Then their first place together: the huge secondfloor apartment in Los Feliz with its view of the Griffith Observatory. Here, Hamm says, is where he first felt like an adult.
http://www.gq.com/story/jon-hamm-mad-men
                       
At a party in 1997, he met Westfeldt, best known for co-writing and starring in the 2001 comedy Kissing Jessica Stein. Later he helped her rehearse lines for an audition.
“She didn’t get the part, which may be my fault, but she got the guy.”
http://parade.com/28975/davidhochman/jon-hamm
On meeting Westfeldt  "Jen and I met in L.A. at a party -- a mutual friend's birthday party... completely random meeting... she was out here auditioning for a pilot or something... and I was, too... and she got an audition for Jake Kasdan's film Zero Effect [1998]... and wanted to read with somebody who was a guy, and she didn't really know any guys out here, so she called... and that was, kind of, how we first officially met, running scenes from Zero Effect. Apparently I wasn't very good, 'cause she didn't get the part."
Westfeldt was subsequently invited to read for a part in a film (Zero Effect) opposite Bill Pullman. On the day of final casting, down to the last two for the role, she called up the friend whose party she had been to and asked if she knew of an actor she could run through her lines with, before the audition. The friend suggested Hamm.
"And I said, 'You mean that arrogant guy from the party? No thank you...'" Westfeldt recalls. As the fates would have it, no one else was around, so Hamm it had to be. Westfeldt drove over to the apartment he was sharing with four other guys in the Silver Lake district of LA (then an edgy suburb, now the place to be, and where they have their home). "I got lost in my little white rental car. I was having visions of The Bonfire of the Vanities. But when I got there, Jon was so sweet and he worked on these lines with me. I was like, 'God, this guy is so talented... and so handsome!'"
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2012/jun/03/jennifer-westfeldt-friends-kids
On the first question begged by Friends with Kids: were he and Westfeldt friends first?  "Oh, yeah, very much so. She was involved with somebody, and I may have been involved, as well. Yeah, we were friends for a long time before we officially started dating -- and we've never gotten out of the 'dating' thing. We're still in it."
 Jennifer Westfeldt is scrolling excitedly through her iPhone looking for pictures of her dog to show me. It's an alsatian cross, weighs four stone, and in the photo she clicks to the dog is sprawled on the lap of Jon Hamm......but when Westfeldt zooms to a close-up it is the dog's features she dwells on: "She is such a beauty, isn't she? Such a pretty girl. Dogs just need you and love, that's all. She is our daughter really – at least the closest we've got..."
Hamm credits his partner's inquisitive nature as the basis for her insight into human dynamics.
"Jennifer is a question-asker. She doesn't take anything at face value and it's a big part of why I'm tremendously attracted to her . At turns that's incredibly awesome, incredibly frustrating and incredibly adorable. I find that curiosity in people inspiring."
"We've always been the most important person to one another'...."Some children in our lives we would take a bullet for, we feel so close to. But we can also go home at the end of the day."
http://articles.latimes.com/2012/mar/08/entertainment/la-et-Jennifer
famous at last 
Their unmarried state still arouses curiosity in 2009, and Hamm is clearly tired of defending it: "It couldn't be a simpler answer. Marriage doesn't really mean anything to me. I feel like in many ways marriage is more for the families [of the couple] than for the people involved, so I don't gravitate to it. But I've also said that the minute Jen is like, `You need to marry me,' I'll be like, `All right!' We are both on the same page. Although that may shift; I don't know. I don't need to be married, but I feel married."
He's persistently loyal to his longtime friends and his girlfriend. "I'm not a cheater. I've never cheated in my life," ......
                               
HAMM: Jennifer has been a remarkable and wonderful presence in my life. I’m so glad to still be able to enjoy a very good life together with her after all this time. I met her when I was at a very low point in my life and wondering whether I could ever make it as an actor. I remember driving her around L.A. in my beat-up Volkswagen Rabbit which had no roof and was on the verge of falling apart at any moment. But she was one of those gracious and generous women who believed in me and supported me even though my prospects didn’t look that good. Her faith kept me going and soon afterwards I landed a role on a series (Providence) that enabled me to stay in the business and I’ve never looked back since.
https://sg.style.yahoo.com/news/jon-hamm-dont-exploit-personal-pain 
Q: The media keeps speculating on whether you will ever get married?
HAMM: Why should we get married now? I’ve never had much respect for the idea of marriage ever since my parents got divorced when I was two. We both love each other and care for each other and the idea of having a paper that says we belong together doesn’t mean anything to me. I’m just lucky to have such a great woman in my life.
https://sg.style.yahoo.com/news/jon-hamm-dont-exploit-personal-pain
Marriage doesn’t mean anything to me. It’s more for their families than for the two partners, so I’m not gravitating towards it. I’m very loyal, I’ve never strayed, and never wanted to. I don’t need to be married, because I feel married.’
DailyMail.com
It was never a discussion. I think marriage often is an arrangement between families more than an arrangement between the two people involved. I don’t have a particularly defined example of marriage in my life. My parents got divorced when I was two and never remarried. So it doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t mean to say that it shouldn’t mean things to other people. I’m not judging it one way or another. It’s just my experience. I don’t have that paragon of married life to look at and think, Oh yeah, that’s it! That’s what I want!           
As Westfeldt describes it, their professional lives have had a complex effect on their ability to be together as a family — pulling them apart geographically, but therefore forcing them to be “really active in our commitment,” rather than falling back on habit or proximity
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/11/magazine/jennifer-westfeldt
Jennifer Westfeldt: No, he's incredibly sexy, but he also can be shy and humble and goofy. He's not anything like the philandering, dark guy that is Don Draper. I think the fact that the role is iconic sort of gives certain people license to say all kinds of things that no one would say if you knew him. That's the trickiest part of this incredible fame that he has deserved, by the way, for so long. I don't understand why it took so many years. He'd been out there hustling and trying to get great parts for 13 years, 15 years before this happened. And I remember network test after network test and being so disheartened and looking at me and saying like, "I have to get a job." And I'm thinking, "No it's a no-brainer, it's all going to come together. It's ridiculous, but it just has to be the right thing, and then everything is going to happen. I know it." It's amazing that it has, and if we have to deal with a few inappropriate or weird comments from strangers, well, that's the price you have to pay.
http://www.gq.com/story/jennifer-westfeldt-interview
                                     
Back at Hamm and Westfeldt's home, we sit in the sundrenched backyard, watching hummingbirds dart in and out of the trees. Cora dozes at Hamm's feet. At first, he says, the couple's decision not to get married was a pointed one. "We thought, Marriage is for squares," he says. "Now it's more that neither of us has particularly good models of what a marriage is supposed to be. It's not something we grew up wanting." (Being among the last of their friends to remain childless does put a crimp in the couple's social life, but as Hamm points out, "If you want to have dinner after 6 p.m., there are always the gays!")
On the second question begged by Friends with Kids: do they have kids? 
"We don't. It's always on the periphery of the discussion, but we do not have children. You know, it's a tricky balance to strike. And I have a tremendous amount of respect for my friends who do balance this particular career with raising a kid, 'cause it's a tricky environment to bring them into... So not for us just yet."
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/race/jon-hamm
Why they’re not in a hurry to get married. 
“I don’t have the marriage chip, and neither of us have the greatest examples of marriages in our families. But Jen is the love of my life, and we’ve already been together four times longer than my parents were married.”
Nor is he rushing to have children.
“I like kids but I also like the option to close the door. Becoming a parent is a whole other life, and it doesn’t stop.”
http://parade.com/28975/davidhochman/jon-hamm
Did that strike a chord with you? You don’t have kids.
‘Yes, definitely. Jen and I have been together for a long, long time, and the sense of family in our lives is different to most. But it doesn’t make it less significant.’
Have you ever had any second thoughts about having kids?
‘No. I don’t need children. Look, if it happened tomorrow that would be another thing. But I’m older than dirt. So it would be difficult. A lot of our friends have kids and their children are eight, ten years old. We’ve watched them go through it.’
http://www.timeout.com/london/film/jon-hamm
We complement each other. After 15 years together, it’s a good place to be at. We make up for each other’s deficiencies very nicely. I overheard Jennifer saying that she’s very detail-oriented and hyper-aware of everything. I’m a little more laid-back and tend to be like, “Let’s relax.”
I think those traits can be amped up to a fault. I can be so laid-back that I tend to fall asleep. She can be so hypercritical that she can’t fall asleep. We balance each other out in that respect.  I think that is what has contributed to our longevity as a couple. We’re also very honest and upfront with each other. We don’t hide anything from each other.  If something bothers us, we air it, deal with it and move on. It’s a very adult way of dealing with problems.
http://entertainment.inquirer.net/36135/jon-hamm
"It's not changed a lot in our family," she says. "It changes a lot just in our time in the outside world. It's strange to get photographed walking a dog in the neighbourhood. Losing your privacy in that way is a bit strange, so we treasure our time at home. But we have been together so long that his long overdue fame – in my opinion – works better at this age. We've seen the ups and downs in both of our careers. We are aware that everything is fleeting, whereas our relationship isn't. So you can appreciate the moments of success with more perspective."
Working together is clearly one way of ensuring that she and her partner get to spend time together, especially when work commitments take them to different places. "A lot depends on what I'm working on," says Westfeldt. "The last time he was shooting Mad Men I was doing a play in New York so we were commuting. We live in LA and have a small rental in New York. It depends on our jobs how our day-to-day lives are."
As for directing her partner, she says: "He doesn't require much direction. He's a pretty good actor. He is not like Don Draper at all...
So, do you and Jon want to have kids?
It’s funny — we’re certainly not opposed. I guess, it’s definitely … Our lives have been so crazy the past few years. We’ve been working on separate coasts a lot. I was doing a play; Jon was doing Mad Men. I think you have to be ready to be in one place if you’re going to embark on that. We’ll see what the future brings.
Was it challenging working with your boyfriend?
Jon? He’s a dream to work with, he’s a dream to be with. That’s not challenging.
http://www.vulture.com/2011/09/_jennifer_westfeldt
Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt stopped on the red carpet at the Emmys to chat with Giuliana Rancic about the secret to a lasting relationship
Breath mints. That’s always important,” Jon joked. “What else babe?”
“We have no secrets,” Jennifer said. “There’s no secrets.”
“It’s all good,” said Jon.
                      
 
We may not have a piece of paper that says we’re husband and wife, but after 10 years, Jennifer is more than just a girlfriend. What we have is much deeper and we both know that. To me, people [should] get married when they’re ready to have kids, which I’m not ruling out.” 
 
 Since you and Jon Hamm were together before the Mad Man phenomenon hit, what was the oddest thing that you observed about his sudden fame and do you think the world views him differently than you do?
Westfeldt: Sure, definitely. [laughs] Part of the amazing success of Mad Men is the element of fantasy about it, his character in particular. What goes along with that character is the sex symbol status. If we compare the successes we had in our careers, I remember when people were responding to ‘Kissing Jessica Stein,’ the type of recognition I would get is people coming up and saying, ‘I was at the wedding and we sat at table nine together.’ It would take them ten minutes to realize that they had seen me in a movie and we weren’t friends. When people see Jon, they faint or scream or cry. [laughs] We couldn’t be more opposite on the way people perceive us based on the work we do.

Since you took on this subject, and you personally don’t have kids, do you feel any pressure to make a decision about having children in your own life?
Westfeldt: I feel we like kids, and we have a lot of kids in our life. We might choose to do it, there are a lot of ways to have a family in this world, but we may not, we’ve been pretty happy as we are and if we decide to take that on I’m sure we’ll find a way to do it.
Your partner is suddenly very, very famous. What’s that like?
It’s weird for both of us. He’s doing great work, but all the rest is bullshit. People I’ve met a million times will say, “I didn’t know you’re dating Jon Hamm!” It’s hilarious and unbelievable. My fame is the kind where people think they know me from a wedding or maybe I’m a friend of a friend—as opposed to his recognition, which is more like, “Oh my God, I’ll die if I see Jon Hamm!” Jonny’s very famous, but he’s not in crazy-land yet, where you can’t go anywhere. I would never want that, but we’ll see where it goes. I still haven’t come up with a good answer to “He’s so hot, how did you land him?” or “You’re so lucky to be with him!” Um, thanks?
 "We've had so much chaos with Mad Men, Jon's incredible fame, and flying back and forth just to spend 36 hours together, that this was the most day-in, day-out interaction we've had in a while. It was great," she says. "But because I'm always pushing to live in Manhattan, with 10-degree weather, I was like, 'Come on, city, make my man excited about moving here, please!'"
http://www.marieclaire.com/celebrity/a6961/jennifer-westfeldt-interview/
 
Their unmarried state still arouses curiosity in 2009, and Hamm is clearly tired of defending it: "It couldn't be a simpler answer. Marriage doesn't really mean anything to me. I feel like in many ways marriage is more for the families [of the couple] than for the people involved, so I don't gravitate to it. But I've also said that the minute Jen is like, `You need to marry me,' I'll be like, `All right!' We are both on the same page. Although that may shift; I don't know. I don't need to be married, but I feel married."
"I have a lady, she's a great lady .I love her a lot, she loves me. We're on the same page. Whenever that day happens when we're not on the same page, we'll move forward with it. We're interested in having our lives be our lives right now and not a third person's vis-a-vis marriage and whatever that means."
I've met Mr. Clooney several times and he's a lovely guy, but my interest in his personal life sort of ends there. Jen [actress Jennifer Westfeldt] and I have been together for many years, and it's kind of mind-boggling to me that people even care.
http://www.elle.com/culture/celebrities/news/a18385/jon-hamm
                                        
 they never go two weeks without seeing one another. She told the NY Times, “We’ve done it even if we just have one afternoon together. And even if we’re in the same place, we prioritize making sure we have time and spend time. Especially now with all the demands on Jon’s time and our privacy.”  
BATD: Do you think you noticed if you have a biological clock, Or what happens now if one suddenly kicks in?
JW: We love kids and we’re very much honorary aunts and uncles and godparents to our friend’s kids. But our lives are so odd. We’re always traveling and we’re never in the same place. It’s such a gypsy life to be an actor. It doesn’t feel very proper or stable for a child. If that changes or if we’re suddenly clear that that’s what we want, we’d have to make a million changes. Obviously, who knows if it would be possible biologically? Who knows what method we would use if we decided that was what we wanted? And we haven’t yet, so we’ll see
BATD: Jon is very modest in interviews, he says he’s not handsome, and he’s not the new George Clooney.
JW: That’s just silly, He’s not handsome!? She laughs and jokes….. yeah, he’s really hard to look at! I think it’s actually refreshing. Jon flogged it out for so many years, getting rejected and not getting anything great and I think the fact that fame has come later, it means he has a better perspective on it and takes it with a grain of salt.
http://www.beautyandthedirt.com/interviews/interview-jennifer-westfeldt/
What experiences from your own family life did you bring to the film?
I’m in a modern family, myself. Everyone’s like, "When are you and Jen (Westfeldt) going to get married?" We’ve been together for 16 years, and yet we’ve, we’re very, we’re as married as anybody.
I don’t have kids, but I’ve been a teacher, I’ve been
a day-care teacher; I have tons of nieces and nephews, and I feel like all of these people are my family. I lost my parents very young. I’ve had a lot of surrogate parents in my life—you know ... family, friends—who have sort of adopted me in many ways, so I have a very fluid definition of family as well.
https://mom.me/entertainment/12413-jon-hamm-im-modern-family
 It’s disingenuous to say you don’t know that’s a possibility if you’ve got uberfame, which is what he does, but at the same time, you really don’t know what it’s going to be like. People want to see him wherever he goes. You can’t do anything about it.
NY Times
Westfeldt has also talked about how she doesn't see them having children. "I never thought I'd be this age and not have kids," she told the New York Times magazine. "But my life has also gone in a million ways I never anticipated. I kept feeling like I'd wake up with absolute clarity, and I haven't. And we have a pretty great life together."
 
Batd: So as a couple without kids, what do you get to do that your friends may be jealous of? Hamm: Well we get to spend Jubilee weekend in London...and we were just in Southern Italy on the Amalfi coast for a week before this. Part of being an actor is to be available on a moment’s notice..
Batd: She doesn’t dress you? Hamm, (he laughs) No she doesn’t dress me. Having kids, it’s something we’ve never ruled out.
"I don't necessarily want kids. A lot of our friends are having children and I don't know if it's for me. I haven't come down hardcore on either side of the argument. I think when people come from a stable family having children becomes a celebration and I'm not sure it would be that way for me." 
Batd: You must be ambashed by these questions at the moment as a couple with this movie, especially Jen? Hamm: It is a very hot button topic. There is a bit of a curious thing when certain women are pushed on the question, on some levels it feels like there’s an expectation and my take is that I don’t think everybody necessarily should have kids. Some people do. I’m glad my Mother did or we wouldn’t be having this conversation now.
http://www.beautyandthedirt.com/interviews/we-met-jon-hamm/
Batd: Do you feel that the movie is carrying a message from Jennifer? 
Hamm: No, if Jennifer wants to get a message to me she knows where I live, she certainly doesn’t need to raise several million dollars and make a movie about it, she can just walk over and talk to me. And we’re pretty good at communication as well. We wanted to make this movie because we thought it was an interesting story and it was something we’d watched a lot of our friends go through and at a certain level of our lives. There are times in our lives when there are these watershed moments, when you grow up in your 20’s there’s that summer when you go to 5 weddings, and in your 30’s there’s the summer when you feel like you’ve bought 5 baby shower gifts. Then there’s the second baby that comes and then the divorce and then the second marriage. There are these sign posts in everyone’s life, especially in western culkture and we thought it would make an interesting story and we hope we covered it.
Did [longtime partner, actress Jennifer Westfeldt] give you any advice or help you through the transition at all?
Well, Jen and I have been together for 17 years now.  And everything that happens in our lives gets run by one or the other.  So while there was no specific advice on how to deal with it, of course having a partner that is incredibly supportive of you is wonderfully helpful.  In fact, the day after we wrapped, I flew to New York.  Jen and I watched fireworks in New York City and then we went to Martha’s Vineyard for two weeks to decompress.  That was really nice.
http://thetvpage.com/2015/01/10/interview-jon-hamm-wants-host-saturday-night-live/
It’s a confusing juxtaposition," Westfeldt says. "I think the darkness of Don has weighed heavily on Jon, despite it being the role of a lifetime and the opportunity that gave him the career of his dreams. The end was of course bittersweet and complicated for Jonny. But I know that when he wrapped the show in L.A., in the wee hours of July 3 last year, and then immediately got on a plane to New York to meet me and our dog, Cora, for dinner with a few close friends and to watch the fireworks, he felt a predominant sense of relief. He remarked on the cosmic coincidence of the date: Independence Day. Finally."
http://www.gq.com/story/jon-hamm-after-mad-men
                                       
"With great sadness, we have decided to separate, after 18 years of love and shared history .We will continue to be supportive of each other in every way possible moving forward."
      
cough ! cough !...his PR is a genius.....the hazing, the rehab, the break up....there was definitively something strange......
How do you finance a film like this?  I noticed that Mike Nichols is one of your executive producers.
JW:  Well, Mike was involved early.  We did a workshop of the screenplay with some actors at New York Stage and Film, this wonderful company on the Vassar campus in the summer, and Mike was one of the screenwriting mentors.  So we started with this cold reading, and he, along with others, gave me feedback.  He really responded to [the screenplay], and put his name on it,  and got involved as sort of a “godfather” of this project, which was lovely.
SS:  Are you and Jon Hamm going to be “friends with kids”?
JW:  (Laughs)  I don’t know.  I’ll have to keep you posted.  It could go either way, we’ll see.  We love kids.  We love the kids that are in our lives.  It also hasn’t happened yet … so we’re open.
 
producer Joey Mc Farland
To hear McFarland talk about Westfeldt, it is like the testimony of a proud and enamored partner.
“She is the embodiment of a passionate writer, producer, director and actress. She is a force,” he says. “The truth is, it is easy to like a script on the page, but you have to believe in the people to bring that vision to life on the screen.
And when we sat down with Jennifer and Jon, these two soul mates who aren’t married but have been together for years and are best friends and put their own time and money behind this project, it was an awesome experience.”
cough ! cough ! cough ! actor Guy Pearce..
                                       

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