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Jon Hamm, 55: ‘Aging Is Fun. I’ve Earned It’
You’ve had some incredible opportunities since Mad Men, but Your Friends & Neighbors is your first leading role. What made you say, “OK, this is it”?
I had met with [show creator] Jonathan [Tropper]. I was a fan of his work. He had this rough idea of this guy who lives in this world and something happens where he loses his source of income. It was a compelling first draft. Then we kind of agreed he would go away and write a script and … we would see if we wanted to do it together. And he wrote the pilot, and by the end of the first scene I was hooked.
What hooked you?
I just thought it was a great role for me. It had a lot of places to go from a narrative standpoint. The characters were well drawn and compelling. And we decided to take our journey together. And here we are, Season 2. We’re about to start shooting Season 3. The story is still very compelling to me and, I think, to the audience as well.
What do you think Coop would say to Don Draper, and vice versa?
There’s a lot of shared DNA between the two characters. There’s a competency there in both of their jobs, but also kind of an unfulfilled quality to what looks like, from the outside viewer, material success. One of the early episodes of Mad Men ends with the song “Is That All There Is?” That could be Coop’s theme song, or at least the theme song to Westmont Village [the setting of Your Friends & Neighbors], because that’s certainly one of the themes that we drill down on the show.
You recently turned 55. What’s it like aging in the entertainment industry?
It feels fine. I get to work with some of the greatest people in my business these days, and I’m very fortunate, whether it’s Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon [The Morning Show], or Noah Hawley [Fargo], or Amanda Peet [who plays his ex-wife, Mel, on Your Friends & Neighbors], or Tom Cruise [Top Gun: Maverick], Billy Bob Thornton [Landman]. The list goes on and on. I’m incredibly fortunate. I feel great, relatively speaking. After 50, waking up is a bonus. Waking up pain-free is a real bonus. So it’s just about enjoying yourself. I’m very lucky. I get to do what I’ve always wanted to do at, I think, the highest level. I still appreciate it every day. I still love going to work. So for me, aging is fun, honestly. I’ve enjoyed it. I’ve earned it. I guess I should say that. That’s really what it is. I’m not regretful or angry at it at all. If you made it this far, you’re doing something right.
On talk shows, I heard you call yourself a “late bloomer.” What’s that about?
I’ve always been a half a generation behind all my friends in everything. Whether it’s getting married [to actress Anna Osceola in June 2023], or getting wealthy, or finding my way. I’ve always been on the opposite end of wherever my friends were. It’s just how I feel in the moment. I’ve always been very fortunate to maintain a pretty eyes-wide-open presence in my life. Understanding that it’s hopefully going to continue to grow in my career, in my personal life as well, and it has so far. I’ve been very, very fortunate in that aspect.
Did you have a backup plan?
I gave myself until I was 30 years old. I moved out to L.A. when I was 25. I thought anything that’s going to happen can happen in a five-year span. I ended up turning 30 on the set of my first movie. It was the film We Were Soldiers starring Mel Gibson, Sam Elliott, Greg Kinnear and Barry Pepper. A tremendous cast, and I learned a lot. By that time I was paying my bills from making money as an actor, and I made my goal.
What’s been the best thing about getting older?
There are a couple of great things. If you’re doing it right, you have a much more evolved sense of not worrying about things too much. The biggest lesson is you kind of let things slide a little. You don’t take everything so seriously. Or you’re able to kind of rank things a little more and understand that certain things need to be taken seriously, but other things you can let slide. I guess that’s maturity. I guess that’s arriving at a place in your life that you’re comfortable — it’s the old fable about the mouse that just kept running in cream and churned the whole thing into butter. I don’t need to run that fast anymore. I’m comfortable walking with purpose.
Was there someone along the way who gave you some good advice?
I’ve had tremendous advice over the course of my life. Unfortunately I lost my parents, both, before I turned 20, but I had some other folks in my life who were able to remind me that yes, sometimes bad things happen, but if you let those things define you then you’re going to end up wallowing in those things. There’s always somebody with a sadder story than you. I think that that is a good lesson to learn, especially if you have trauma or tragedy that happens early in your life. If you’re going to just focus on that, you’re going to be focusing on the wrong thing. Life is about growing and experiencing new things. Life is about the future, not about the past.
What was your first splurge when you started making a real living acting?
My first splurge was a car. I remember I was 30 years old when I had my first car that I knew for 100 percent it was going to start. That was a very new experience for me. All the gauges worked, and it had air-conditioning. It was a Volkswagen Jetta. That was the first splurge I ever had. That, and paying off my college loans.
You mentioned all these talented people you’ve worked with. Is there somebody that you are still hoping to work with?
There are still tremendous people out there making movies. And the list grows every day. It was a wonderful awards season. We saw Paul Thomas Anderson finally win. Ryan Coogler and Michael B. Jordan. I remember meeting Michael B. when he was on Friday Night Lights. I knew he was fantastically talented. It’s great to see people like that go on and win the whole thing. Once I saw Sinners I knew he had a great shot at it. He really deserves it. But there are tons of people out there I’d still love to work with. Hopefully I’ll get a chance to.
Coop spends a lot of time on the couch watching old movies. Do you have a movie that you could watch over and over again?
I’ve got a million of them. I most recently had Fast Times at Ridgemont High on. It’s a great film. Cameron Crowe. I just read Cameron Crowe’s autobiography. It was fantastic. It’s called The Uncool. There are a million movies that I could go back to. I’m a member of The Criterion Channel. I look at that every day. It’s great. We live in a pretty great time if you’re a movie buff. You’ve got all the movies in the world a click away
I can’t end without asking you about those Olympic hockey team promos you did for NBC. What a great gig. How did that happen?
I have a good relationship with a lot of people in the sports world, mostly because I’m a big fan of sports, and I’ve made myself available for things like that in the past. I love the Olympics. It’s one of the greatest sporting events of all time.
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Jon Hamm Knows the Secret to a Happy Marriage
.... shares what he’s learned about maintaining a loving relationship long-term
The world of Your Friends & Neighbors is built on deception. Is it ever okay to lie in real life?
Sure. I think we all find ourselves in those situations where we have to bend the truth to make something more palatable. I mean, I was a teacher, man. You gotta pick your battles. You can massage the truth to make people feel a little bit better. Because, of course, we all knew that kid in college who was like, “I’m just a truth-teller, man!” No, you’re just a dick.
Coop has an interesting relationship with marriage. What has marriage taught you?
It’s a new set of skills, mostly communication. Having come out of a long relationship that was not a marriage, then being single and figuring out life in my late 40s, and then being in a relationship again and what that all means—compromise and communication and all the things that you have to relearn, or reteach yourself—it doesn’t come overnight. It’s a practice that you have to get better at. It doesn’t come without mistakes and failures, but it’s based on love and a willingness to say, ‘I’ve gotta be able to do better than this, so I need to figure out how I’ve been less-than and work on it.’ And that’s going to therapy and couples therapy, asking, ‘Is it me, is it them, or is it us?’ And it gets better.
What percentage of the time are women right?
I think they’re right exactly the same percentage of the time that men are. It’s not a competition. They’re right when they’re right and they’re wrong when they’re wrong. And your job, as a member of a couple or a partnership, is to remind the other person that two things can be true sometimes, and that we’re all trying to get through as best we can.
Is it nice to not have to date anymore?
God, with all the apps and all the shit, which I never engaged with even when I was single, it’s pretty bleak. It’s just another indictment of social media. It feels transactional. It feels like it highlights the wrong part of dating and meeting people. I’m looking at a fucking picture and deciding whether they’re worthwhile? It just feels a little dark. I was never really good at dating anyway, so I’m glad to not be out in the world, as it were.
What female singer do you always want to hear?
Sinéad O’Connor’s amazing. I find her voice haunting, soothing, and inspiring all at the same time. And until Stranger Things ruined Kate Bush, I listened to a lot of Kate Bush. And I really like this band called Rilo Kiley. Jenny Lewis is the frontwoman. I’ve got a couple of friends in that band.
If you could star in any remake, what would it be?
Die Hard. How cool would that be? I was raised on ’80s action movies. That stuff is my love language.
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